I feel sad. I went almost 3 years without putting myself out there for connection. I convinced myself of multiple things… 1 that I was “working on myself” 2. That Sedona doesn’t have any men. 3.That I’m
just really selective about who I end up being interested in. It’s rarely anyone that even looks good on paper.. it’s likely a combination of being karmic with some some shared interests and intellectual connection.

I met someone online in December who lives in my area. We hit it off with conversation right away… or maybe he was just asking me questions about things that really interest me. He’s really smart and was sharing lots of cool things that were interesting to me as well.

There were red flags. He always mentioned getting together, but would never officially ask me out. At some point I just invited him to hang out with me at the salt room where I work.
We would often spend hours messaging with each other, and even spent 8 hours on the phone a few times.
To shorten the story.. turned out he is between houses, and has been living out of his car. He only spends $ on food and bills. He seems really cheap as well.

One night in an emergency situation I let him stay over. Which then led to a second night over. After that my landlord got freaked out,(we do t live in the same house, but her place is very close and faces mine) She said I wasn’t allowed to have people stay over. Later she changed it to he could stay over a few nights here or there, but I would have to pay extra for those nights.
I ended up being the one that paid, and eventually asked if he could contribute.
He nervously started talking about how he had a bill that was due and he wished he had known in advance that I would ask.
After that weekend he ghosted me. yesterday was 8 days.. so I reached out and said I wasn’t exactly sure what happened to us reaching out to each other, that I enjoyed the time together, and that its such a little town that I don’t want us to feel avoidant with each other.
He said nothing. As far as I can tell he doesn’t even go on FB or instagram anymore which was where we would often message each other.

I know this sounds bad. I ignored all the red flags. I went into my masculine energy. I let him into my tiny place and world that I had kept to myself.
We were never s*xually intimate, but the company, the conversation, the cuddling and watching Netflix. I even invited him with me on a trip when I went to the Gem show. I’m caught up in limerence, and just feel overall like an idiot.
I should mention that one of my wounds from my childhood is that my Dad didn’t pay child support… and he was homeless several times. I thought I had done enough work around this topic to not attract that type of scenario. I watched myself do it all in slow mo it seems and was compelled none the less.

Help! @Grace88 need corrections please. 😢🙏